The expression of who we are in that moment should not be overpowering but rather should inspire those around us. It should arise from the well spring of our humanity confirming our connection. Those around us should be able to see themselves in us. This is what it means to “let your light shine before men that they may see your good works”.

If the expression becomes overpowering, then it seems to be disconnecting. It seems to spiral off into expression that, though it is unique, seems to be in separation. Our expression of healthy self-esteem, coming in conclusion of a successful effort, generating a sense of accomplishment and well-being can easily become an overweening pride. All of the positivity expressed celebrating the connection immediately leaves as the excess of pride dominates, changing our perspective of who we are in relation to everyone else, as well as their relationship to us.

This sense of pride gives us a sense of elevation above everyone else, instead of a sense of sharing. This place of elevation is different, and is easily communicated through our connection with those around us, which profoundly disconnects.

True positivity is then a measure of the extent of connection that we feel with others. Positivity can only exist in connection, so one has to first elevate and see the connection in order to appreciate the positivity in an event. The elevation that is required results in a focus on outer connection rather than a self-centered perspective. Self-centeredness, here, must be distinguished from self-reflection or self-actualization which is more concerned with how the ‘self’ connects outwardly. The sense of bringing everything in toward the self contributes to making our sense of being actually smaller, whereas movement in the other direction gives us a sense of being larger and being more connected.

The sense of having to bring things in confirms the absence of whatever we are bringing in and can only intensify its sense of absence. Here, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. This is the fundamental dynamic with self-centeredness and the negativity created in the sense of perceived absence. The sense of moving things out generates a sense of presence with abundance and having an excess, enough to share, confirming the connection with everything else. This sense of moving things out is at the heart of positive expression.